I Stand Corrected

Did I say that the Animated Shorts were the most depressing group of Oscar nominees ever? I stand corrected. I just saw the nominees for Live Action Short. Oh my God. It's like Frederick Nietzsche taught a class in short filmmaking. After this bunch, you might want to sit in that Sicilian bath with a cup of Hemlock, just to speed up the process.

The New Tenants- This was the winner. I hated it. Its subject matter is so dark, ugly, violent and silly that it's almost a parody of the category. A disagreeable gay couple move into an apartment on the heels of a triple homicide. Four more murders occur. In fifteen minutes. The couple ends the film by waltzing (literally) out of the apartment building. That's supposed to mean something. What it really means is that the Academy voters were idiots.

Kavi- A tale of child slavery in India. A young boy dreams of a cricket game while he is beaten and chained in a brick factory. This was the cheery film of the lot.

Miracle Fish- Sounds like an uplifting title. A young boy finds himself alone in a school building with a homicidal crazy person who is summarily shot in the head by a police sniper in front of the boy. I'm not kidding.

The Door-A Russian family must leave their apartment after the Chernobyl disaster. The Dad sneaks back to steal the door from his radioactive apartment so he can place the corpse of his dead daughter (radiation poisoning) on the door for the funeral. I'm not kidding. At least this one is well made and evocative. Could you hand me the Hemlock?

Instead of Abracadabra- This one THANK GOD is a comedy. A 25 year old Scandinavian loser, living with his parents, fancies himself a great magician. He's not. This one is kind of funny, but an Oscar nominee?

If these are the best in short film, I have a slew of friends who can do better. They should get off their collective butts and shoot something.